I came across this post at gaymiddleeast.com , a site devoted to GLBT people in the middle east. It was written by a man who lives in Iraq, and it made me sad.
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Hello dear friends of Gay Middle East.
Now I realize that I am not alone...and just when lonliness was taking over my life. I'm an Iraqi gay man now 32 years old. I knew that I'm gay since primary school. I loved the voice of our teacher. Since that time I'm in my own world, my own fantasy world. I used to sit on the rooftop of our home and talk to the moon every night. I never knew any other people like me.
Now that I'm older, I'm become more and more alienated from my friends, society and even my family. I'm also told that I'm very handsome. The girls are always hanging around me - even in our country where straight love is also taboo. Lots of guys at my university are jealous of my popularity with the girls - which even added to my stress. In order to avoid thinking about my real desires and to escape my loniless, I devoted most of my time to my studies - and got very good grades. The people around me often are jealous and see me as a very successful and lucky guy. But, inside my soul I am very sad. Sad because my dream might just stay a dream for my whole life. Sad because our society dictates to me that i must marry one of those beautiful girl in our university or neighborhood.
Sometimes I wish I had an ugly face so no girl will ever want to look at me. Picture a flock of birds all looking alike and flying in the same direction - and then me, looking different but by mistake with them. Nothing matches between us. I fly with them to an unknown world, but I'm not happy. I cry but no one can see my tears. I feel sad. I don't want to hang around with friends and talk about girls. They don't understand my position, they just think I'm snobbish. They cannot read my heart. In my heart there is one
word - that is love.
Is it a sin to love? Do I have something to be ashamed of? I love the entire world, and I love when I see people happy. I hate when labels are put on human beings. We are all the same despite our difference. I think religions, nationality, skin color, gender does not matter at all. We need to create happy life in this world. FREEDOM for all. The moon is my only friends that knows the truth, and it tells me that there are other men like me out there. The seed of hope is powerful, it just needs the right soil to land on and to create a tree that no wind in the world can destroy.
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--
Steven
I have a feeling there are quite a lot of people who are sad and lonely and scared over there. Thanks for posting that one. Freedom is nice to have, isn't it?
Posted by: Catherine Shaffer | March 22, 2004 at 09:01 AM