It's official. I finally received notice that I am Not a Winner in the Writers of the Future 3rd Quarter contest. I had been notified almost two months ago that my story was in the finals (the last 6-8 who get passed on to the celebrity judges), but it took an uncommonly long time to get the results. I actually haven't received my letter yet, but there was a rumor that people were getting phone calls, and I didn't get a phone call, so I emailed Kathy Wentworth and she informed me that my story wasn't on "the list." So.
It's funny, just a couple of weeks ago my violin teacher asked me to encourage her daughter, who had entered an essay contest and was disheartened because she hadn't even finished in the top fifty. I could really relate. I said to her, "Listen, the thing about contests is that they're very subjective. Ultimately, you have to remember that the judges are all jerks and don't know anything." This got a smile out of her and I left patting myself on the back for my heard-earned authorial maturity. Had I not entered countless contests, been disappointed, and yet persisted? Have I not achieved some small success as a result of that persistence? Yes! It's a hard row to hoe, but if you know you are all right, if you don't hang your self esteem on these external evaluations, you can remain centered and happy.
Then I find this out about WOTF, and the thing is I can't enter any more. I'm ineligible. I watched my friends win this contest, one-by-one, and get flown off to L.A. and wined and dined, and I somehow assumed that this would eventually be part of my future. And it's not, and I'm crushed. I'm going to get over it, but I'm distinctly crushed. And I'm not different than that sixteen-year-old girl, am I? Unless it's in the fact that I trudge back to my word processor and sullenly write some more words, refusing to believe that I'm really not good enough, at least for fifteen minutes at a time, in spite of what the world conspires to tell me.
No, I'm Not a Winner this quarter, and I'm never going to BE a Winner. At least not in WOTF. But what I do have to look forward to is finally being able to relate to readers instead of just editors and contest judges. So six people didn't like my story enough to give it an award. But 38,000 readers did get a chance to read my story in Analog, and maybe some of them even liked it. Maybe a lot of them! Maybe a few of them liked it enough to remember my name. What's more, maybe, just maybe, something I said really spoke to somebody out there, and gave them some kind of an idea, and maybe some day that idea will come back and affect me somehow. That's why we write. It's not to hang certificates on the wall. I need to remember that.
Bummer. Why aren't you eligible anymore?
I tried telling myself the same thing about the China Wushu tournament. I know the scoring was even more subjective than figure skating, and that everyone got a medal of some color (so how valuable can it be?), but it hasn't helped. Then again, my registration was screwed up and they refused to fix it, so I wasn't even given the chance to be subjectively judged.
Posted by: Lisa | December 09, 2004 at 11:12 AM
Yeah, but remember that you're ineligible because you've been published in ANALOG. :)
--Steven
Posted by: Steven Harper Piziks | December 11, 2004 at 05:21 PM
This is definitely glass-half-full situation.
Posted by: Sarah | December 20, 2004 at 08:37 AM
Kristy Walsh - Dear Ben and Sarah,Congratulations! You will both make gorgeous bebias and beuatiful parents.Fingers crossed Dave and I are next!!!Our Wedding canvas takes pride of place in our lounge room and every body loves it. We must get more done!Love Kristy & Dave xxx
Posted by: Selahattin | July 29, 2012 at 09:10 PM